J – My Youngest is 3

 

I was really busy for the past year with my 2 kids that I was not able to write for a year now.   The last 12 months, I was super busy with work and home.

And lo! my son is 3 years old last September 2016. We celebrated it in

He has grown very fast that he knows the alphabet and can count 1 to 20. but since we don’t practice often, he forgets but easily remembers them.

He know the cars, dinosaurs, heavy equipment, insects and reptiles, colors and shape. You can understand his words and no baby talk unless he purposely say “Oo ga ga”. His easily copies sentences. He does not want to be corrected and he often say “Mama, no galit” which means “Mama, don’t be mad.  He can say  very complex words and he can say his complete name when he feels like it. He is advance for his developmental year. But I allow him to play and play.

He has now interest in reading and writing and let see how that goes.

For the past year, I thank our Lord Jesus Christ for his faithfulness and grace to my family. The verse for J’s birthday found in James 3:17 (NLT) “But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere”.

For the past months, I learned to be gentle and yield to others especially my children.  I do things for my children without grumbling. Well, J reminds me not to “galit”. So far, our family life is peaceful and loving, full of mercy with fruit of good deeds.  I show no favoritism with my children. I intentionally give time to each one. And I train them to respect the time I give to each one of them. They would want me to all for their selves but, slowly and surely, they are starting to give way to each other and share their mama.

 

 

 

 

X – My Eldest Daughter

The first 2 years of my blog  was on my son J. Then I stopped writing  a year ago (Nov 2015 to Nov 2016) for I became very busy and was demotivated to write.  The last 12 months were jam-packed with many things.  And most of it were on my eldest daughter X who is now 7 years old and who is in Grade 2 where God use them to teach me more about being a better mom.

To give you a background, my daughter X started going to prep school at 5 years old.  I delayed enrolling her since I felt she was not yet ready for school.  It was only at 4 years did she memorized the alphabet. And at 5 years old, she learned the sound of the letters. I enrolled her to summer class before she began her prep school. She was struggling with school especially in reading. I didn’t realized that I became hard on her and I became monster mom.   Imagine the life of my daughter.  At 5 years old she should be enjoying life by playing a lot.  But I made it hard on her, we was very busy at night, I was teaching her and helping her with her assignments. She started feeling  bad about school.  Then, one day, God let me realized that I have to show love my daughter whatever the case even if she is not good  at school. So said sorry to her and expressed to her that I love her and I don’t really mind about her performance in school. And so she survived Prep school.

While reviewing her at her exams in prep, I had a feeling she was dyslexic and I started researching on it,  and she is exhibiting most of the symptoms. So I wanted her to be tested but they say it was too early to be diagnosed.  So I enrolled her to Kumon to help her with her reading in Grade 1.

At the start of her Grade 1, at 6 years old , I had her eye checked, we found out that her eye grade was 200 near sighted. Just after 1 month her eye glasses was broken and we had to buy a new pair of eye glasses.

At Grade 1, Xian was passing her  exams, I was not hard on her, But the problem subject was Filipino. We had a crying time every review of her quarter exams. when ever we are studying her tummy is aching or something will come-up. She even said her head get dizzy with the noise at school… I know this is a symptom of dyslexia. we survived Grade 1.

We had her eye checked again before she started Grade 2 and her grade went up to 250.

Before enrollment of Grade 2, Xian expressed that she wanted to be homeschooled but her father said, she should be in regular school. I was able to get her tested with her reading ability at The Literacy Ladder.  And recommended that she is tested by a Development pediatrician that diagnosed her with learning disability on reading or most popular as dyslexia. And she as also diagnosed to be depressed in school. Maybe because she is having hard time in school and in Reading.  She does not like Reading and Filipino subject. So I had to talk to school to accommodate my daughter X to address the recommendations of the development pediatrician and the reading specialist.

Now we go to reading intervention at the Literacy Ladder  twice a week.  One phase of reading therapy  is 24 hours. If done twice a week with 1.5 hour per session then the whole phase will run for 2 months.  X is now on her second phase. And 1 more phase to fully equip X on her reading independently.

Returning to work – How I built my BM stash

I am full time working mom and I have returned work after 2 months of giving birth to my son though I was CS. Just in case, I needed to go home. I used the 2 weeks to practice my baby cup feeding the breast milk stash that I built before I went back to work. For those 2 weeks, I did not go home since my baby and his caregiver adjusted quite well.

I am proud to say I have exclusively breastfeed (EBF) my baby for 3 years even though I am a full time working mom with a stressful work. I expressed milk at work until my son was 2 years old.  Now, I just feed him at night or when I am around him. EBF meant my son have not tasted formula milk at anytime and for the first 6 months of his life, all he drank was breast milk and not even water. I introduced solid food on his 6 month.

Breast feeding is a default, exclusively breast feeding for 6 months until weaning is a mindset. I made the decision to EBF when I got the right information by attending a breastfeeding class when pregnant with my caregiver/yaya. Like every working mom’s concern, I want to learn how to feed my baby when I went back to work or when I am away from my baby.

First set a target output. How much breast milk (BM) does your baby need in a day?

Breast milk consumption is based on weight of baby with this formula, baby needs breast milk of 150ml/kg/day. 30ml is approximately equal to 1 oz, hence, 5oz./kg/day. But remember each baby is different from the other. So how does the equation work 5 oz. per kilo per day (5oz./kg./day)? First, get the weight of your baby, example, your baby weighs 4kg. so he will need 5 oz. x 4 kg = 20 oz. in a day. Count the number of feedings, example 10x a day so about 2 oz. in each feeding. Some use the rule, 1 oz per hour. example for my baby when he was 9 months, he weighed 8.2Kg so 8.2Kg x 5 oz.= 41 oz. so he may need about about 1.7 oz per hour. If he feeds every 2 hours he needs about 3.4 oz. When I am way for 10 hours from my last feed then he may consume about 17 oz. But since he is eating now, he just consumes about 12-15 oz. from 6:30am to 6:30pm or 12 hours. Hence, the 1 oz. to 1.5 oz. per hour rule works.

So when you build your stash count the hours you will be away from your baby. But start small or short hours away from baby. At 6 weeks your breast milk output will stabilize so it is the suggested time to pump. However, if you are planning to go back to work at 8 weeks, then better start pumping at 4-5 weeks so you can slowly build your stash. Some recommend that start pumping at 6 weeks which I did. However, if you want to build a huge stash, meaning you will be away for a longer time or want to donate, it is ok to pump after 1 month of direct feeding but it’s recommended to pump after 6 weeks when your supply becomes steady.

Breast Milk and feeding cup. Practice being away to slowly build my stash. On my 6 weeks I started pumping milk using my Medela Base Manual pump.

Second – choose how to express – hand, manual, single electric or double electric pump.

For working moms especially those who are busy or have stressful jobs, better invest on a heavy duty double electric breast pump. I used Medela Base Manual pump in the first 3 months of me going back to work, then I got tired and acquired Medela Freestyle double electric pump. It is a bit pricey but it is very reliable and it has a service center at Medela House. Imagine if your breast pump gets busted in future, how will you pump? Medela House loans pump if your pump it not repaired right away. That is why it is good that I still keep my manual pump just in case my electric pump it out of service or no electricity in the future. But there are many brands out there just chose wisely by researching its performance and also asking from others who used them. Some working mom do hand expression, I really recommend to learn how to do it. Hand expression has no cost and if you get is right, you maximize and empty your breast very well more than any electric pump will do.

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Third -begin small and slowly build up your stash

The key is practice and don’t expect too much. Your first pump, you may only express about 5-10ml or 0.3oz. That is ok. Should you pump before you feed or after you feed your baby? I suggest, before you feed when you breast is full but not engorged or too hard as it maybe be painful for you, expression milk should not be painful. My first pumping session where I used Medela Base Manual pump, I pumped after I fed my baby and I got so small and later I notice I have a tinged of blood. So it was a shocking experience, I do not recommend it. Pump for a least 5 minutes only.

First plan to go out for 2 hours. So pump every 2-3 hours with a target of 2 oz. to 4 oz. of breast milk.

Second – Think of you baby and your ability to produce. Don’t self-doubt that you can produce.  If you are not producing, get professional help from lactation consultant to address your concerns.

Three – breast milk handling, storage and feeding means cooler or ref and cup feeding.

Use the 5-5-5 rule in breast milk storage:  5 hours in room temperature, 5 days in the ref or more if placed in chiller. and 5 weeks if you freeze the BM.

Feed your baby with expressed milk using a small cup.  let your baby lap or use her/his touch to drink the milk and later, your baby will learn to drink from a cup.

Four – Best tools for you

You may express using your hand, manual pump, and single or double electric pump. Also, consider using nursing bra and breastfeeding clothes for each access but discreet. You may consider using nursing covers.  I used Medela Base Pump for 3 months but got tired and taking so much time so I upgraded to Medela Freestyle double electric pump. I also use the Sweetpea nursingwear but I made a Do-it-yourself (DIY) breastfeeding clothes to save and be fashionable and using available ready to wear clothes but I made some alterations.

Five – Support in the Office with RA 10028

Inform and enlist the support of your office including your boss, HR and colleagues that you decided to ebf and you will need pumping breaks as prescribed in RA 10028. As per RA 10028, a lactating mother is given a 40mins to express milk  per 8 hours of work.  These 40 minutes are paid. And if you need more time just talk to your HR and boss and work something out.  Express your desire that your focus is your daughter. If you show that your priority is your family, your baby and not work, they will adjust their expectations.  Be a good mom first and then be a good employee so work hard when at work.

Six – Slowly build your stash, express when engorged and when baby is not feeding and you feel full.

Expressing milk anyway you can before going to work. remember 1 ounce equals to 1 hour of feeding baby. So if you will leave for a few hours, make sure the number of hours away from baby is the number of ounces you have in you ref.  Example if you will go to out for 4 hours, make sure you have 4 ounces of milk at home. Then express at least once ore twice when you are out to replenish the ones consumed by baby.

Seven – Keep a strict schedule at work. Express every 2-3 hours not more than 5 hours.

Express every 2-3 hours. If you arrive early at work, express for 15mins. Then express during break time like 10am , lunch time at 12pm. at afternoon break time at 3pm and at 530pm or before leaving work. The goal is express at least 2 ounces to 5 ounces in each time. So if you express 4x a day and get 3 ounces each time then you will bring home 12 ounces of milk which is enough to feed your baby the next day. The first milk expression of the day is usually the largest amount then as the day goes on, the express milk gets less and less but don’t fret.  Just look at how much you bring home each day. I was able to express 3 ounces on each breast so 6 ounces each time so I bring home an average of 24-30 ounces each day. I donate the extra milk I get each week.  I just make sure I have 40 ounces each week.

Eight – Law of supply and demand.  The more you express effectively, the more your breast will produce. If you express less, your breast will express less.  And directly feed your baby when you are around.

Cloth Diaper

I decided to use cloth diaper to show love your baby and mother earth. But no idea about how to use one.

How did I start with cloth diapers? I attended a cloth diapering seminar with baby wearing seminar.

I learn these advantages, why use cloth diapers (CD) instead of disposable diaper (DD):

1) HEALTH and HYGIENE
CD is do not use chemicals for absorbing wetness and DD has many chemicals to keep baby dry that may cause skin irritation and UTI to our babies. CDs used a stay-dry fabric like micro fleece and keep wetness away from baby’s bum. Its the inserts that absorb the liquid. The cover showing the design of CDs is uses poly urethane laminate (PLU) keeps the wetness in and prevents leaks. Click here if you want to know what chemicals in DDs.

2) COST
Cloth diaper is a very good decision but needs an investment in the beginning. CD are economical since you re-use and re-use. As you don’t have to include in your grocery expenses additional DD cost. With DD, one use and throw away and to me its like throwing away my money. I did a simple computation, 24 pcs. CD at 250 each is Php6,000. With DDs cost Php500 per week, so in 12 weeks or 4 months, that is a total of Php6,000. So my CD has return of investment in 4 months. Though, if I will add cost in water and soap, to be its negligible as CD needs only small amount of soap and our monthly water consumption is based on the increment of 10 cubic meter.

3) ENVIRONMENTALLY SUSTAINABLE
it takes 500 years to recompose DD and if it is burned, it is a health hazard. 50% of our landfill is DD. Also, it is not nice to see trash of soiled DD laying around the neighborhood when the dogs scavenge them. CDs can be re-used and re-used as long

4) HOW TO USE CD, click here
5) various CD system click here

6) FIRST USE – PREP
Before using your cloth diaper, you need to prepare it or prep it. CD needs to be watch 6-8 times before it reach its effective absorbency. What I did was to wash it 2 times then let baby soil it once then wash again. CD can act like DD with absorbency of 2-3 hours. Thus, I change every 2-3 hours like DD.

5) WASHING – USE HALF OF MILD SOAP

6) KULA OR SUN BLEACH FOR STUBBORN STAINS.
7) HOT WATER FOR MECONIUM
8) STRIP THE RESIDUE BUILD UP
Stripping is when you need to remove the residue build-up of laundry detergent. it is very simple to strip your CD. baking soda and vinegar, dishwashing liquid,
click here

9) GOING OUT WET BAGS AND ACCESSORIES
WIPES, WET BAGS to keep the liquid and smell inside the wet bags.
10) TRAVELING – Bring all the CDs, wipes, wet bags.  And wash the CD if you can.

A Happy Life is a Submissive wife

It has been months since I last wrote a blog.  I was busy being a wife, a mom and an employee.  Thank you for those who visit my blog. Now, it is time to share my learning’s with you.

Let me share about my happy life. Many says, a happy wife is a happy life. But for me, I happy life is a submissive wife. A happy husband is a respected husband.  I learned to trust my husband in everything and I submit in everything, even if sometimes he does not believe. It does not matter if he believes my respect of submission but what matters is my belief in Christ that shows my respect for my husband. I simply obey God in Ephesians 5:33 “But each one of you must love his wife as he loves himself. And a wife must respect her husband.” And I let God be my judge in my submission. And I listen to my husband to improve my respect and submission.

I honor God by honoring my husband in spite times when I feel unloved. I know, my husband love me, and he does hurt me with words but I trust his love for me even if I am hurt and feel unloved.  And when I feel the pain I pray that God will comfort me and give me peace.

I learned and realized that when I said my wedding vows, my relationship with my husband is PERMANENT. What changes each day is the fellowship.  Now, I strive hard to maintain the fellowship or be reconciled always with him and that is my happiness.

I obey God’s word to respect my husband and submit to him in everything. And now, I found peace. I don’t fuss about things, I let it be even if I feel the decision is not good. And when things do go wrong, I trust my God who will make things work. As it is written, “All things work for good for those who love God.”

So ladies and wives, I urge  you to trust in the Lord and submit and respect the decisions of your husband.  Because at the end of the day, God’s plan will matter. As it is written, in Proverbs 19: 21 “You can make many plans, but the lord’s purpose will prevail.”

And when you do show genuine respect to your husband and joyful submission to your husband, he will show how great is his love and will do anything you ask of him. No manipulation needed, only trust. A husband greatest need is respect and submission of his wife.  And he will certainly give you the appreciation you need as wife.

I don’t try to change my husband, because that is the work of the Holy Spirit. And I learn, I don’t have the capability to change my husband. I learn to love my husband for who he is. And now he is learning to really love me for who I am.

I confess, there are still argument and fights with my husband but now, we learned to forgive each other and understand each other. We are still work in progress but the good news is we are progressing. And our love and respect for each other is growing each day.

The best compliment of my husband said is “Mama, ang bait mo na talaga”. (English translation, “Mama, you are really kind now”.

What is love? as written in 1 Corinthians 13:4-6 “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”

Now try to change the word love with your name, and be that person. I did, and keep on trying each day and the good news is that I have a happy life.

Verses in the Bible for Disciplining our Children

We can only raise up our children well through MODELING.  Nothing more and nothing less. You can never teach a child by saying many words but you can win them with your loving actions.

I became an effective parent who discipline her children with biblical principles when I became a daughter of God, and accepted God’s discipline in my life.   We became adopted son and daughters of God when we accept and believe in Jesus as our Lord and savior who paid the penalty of sin by dying on the cross.

Discipline in love. Read 1 Corinthians 13, replace your name with the word love. Example: Roan is patient and is kind. Roan is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Roan does not demand its own way. Roan is not irritable, and Roan keeps no record of being wronged. Roan does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Roan never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

Discipline is to correct with patience, kindness and justice.  Make rules first and be strong to implement the rules and never bend the rules. Show mercy but express that you are not bending the rule, you are showing mercy when you withhold the penalty of the mistake.  I teach my child that her actions has consequences and that means spanking, standing in the corner or withholding a right with the tablet, turning off the TV.  I teach my child to respect me but I am respectful to her as well.

Never ever discipline in anger or you will unnecessarily hurt and kill your child. Anger is self-centered and love is others-centered. If your child breaks a thing in the house, don’t ever get angry and break his or her heart.  You can replace a broken thing but a broken heart of a child caused by the parent is impossible to mend. It is very difficult to raise up a broken child. But with God nothing is impossible. To mend a broken heart is ask for forgiveness. We ask for forgiveness in the hurt and pain we caused to our child. We can only do so when we know the forgiveness of God and learn to forgive. when we learn to forgive, we became less angry. Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT) Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. James 1:20 (NLT) Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. Colossians 3:8 (NLT) But now is the time to get rid of anger, rage, malicious behavior, slander, and dirty language.

Below are verses on biblical child discipline.

Proverbs 22:6 (NLT) Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

Proverbs 20:30 (NLT) Physical punishment cleanses away evil; such discipline purifies the heart.

Proverbs 29:15 (NLT) To discipline a child produces wisdom, but a mother is disgraced by an undisciplined child.

Deuteronomy 8:5 (NLT) Think about it: Just as a parent disciplines a child, the lord your God disciplines you for your own good.

Hebrews 12:6 (NLT) For the lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.”

Hebrews 12:7 (NLT) As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?

Proverbs 3:11 (NLT) My child, don’t reject the lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you.

Proverbs 13:1 (NLT) A wise child accepts a parent’s discipline; a mocker refuses to listen to correction.

Hebrews 12:5 (NLT) And have you forgotten the encouraging words God spoke to you as his children? He said, “My child, don’t make light of the lord’s discipline, and don’t give up when he corrects you.